In praise of the Hungry Man Dinner
Mar. 8th, 2007 05:20 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
penfielddl004d and the Grand Marnier, whose opinions I hold in high esteem, have both recently pontificated on the brilliance of Chef Jose Andres. Evidently he is the proprietor of D.C.-area restaurants Jaleo, minibar, Cafe Atlantico and Zaytinya.
These restaurants all have something else in common: I hate them.
It has nothing to do with Andres' cooking, which is generally creative. He may also be a kind and generous guy, which is not particularly important but I suppose it is nice to know. What bothers me is his devotion to "small plate" service. The Spaniards call it "tapas." Middle Easterners call it "mezza". I call it "bogus."
It is my contention that tapas and the like is the biggest scam perpetrated upon restaurant clientele since the advent of bottled water. The idea is basically that customers are obligated to order their meals a la carte. Isn't this the same sh!t everybody whined about in college dining centers?
It seems that everything is priced at $4.99 or $5.99 or $6.99 so you feel like you're getting a great deal. But you have to get two or three or four dishes, and when you're finally full, you add up all the different parts and you realize that for the cost of your meal you could have purchased a whole yak or whatever animal their weird-ass meat comes from.
I realize this rant comes off as sort of xenophobic; I must sound like a typical American lardbag insisting on Alamo-sized portions and complaining that "fries should come with that." Maybe that's what I am. But I've managed to find exotic and elegant dining in this city and elsewhere without feeling like I've been nickeled-and-dimed, and I'll continue to frequent those places until people like Andres start grouping their appeteasers together and call it an Extra Value Meal.
These restaurants all have something else in common: I hate them.
It has nothing to do with Andres' cooking, which is generally creative. He may also be a kind and generous guy, which is not particularly important but I suppose it is nice to know. What bothers me is his devotion to "small plate" service. The Spaniards call it "tapas." Middle Easterners call it "mezza". I call it "bogus."
It is my contention that tapas and the like is the biggest scam perpetrated upon restaurant clientele since the advent of bottled water. The idea is basically that customers are obligated to order their meals a la carte. Isn't this the same sh!t everybody whined about in college dining centers?
It seems that everything is priced at $4.99 or $5.99 or $6.99 so you feel like you're getting a great deal. But you have to get two or three or four dishes, and when you're finally full, you add up all the different parts and you realize that for the cost of your meal you could have purchased a whole yak or whatever animal their weird-ass meat comes from.
I realize this rant comes off as sort of xenophobic; I must sound like a typical American lardbag insisting on Alamo-sized portions and complaining that "fries should come with that." Maybe that's what I am. But I've managed to find exotic and elegant dining in this city and elsewhere without feeling like I've been nickeled-and-dimed, and I'll continue to frequent those places until people like Andres start grouping their appeteasers together and call it an Extra Value Meal.
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Re: A few corrections
Date: 2007-03-09 02:29 pm (UTC)Re: A few corrections
Date: 2007-03-09 03:06 pm (UTC)Re: A few corrections
Date: 2007-03-09 04:54 pm (UTC)I am amused, though, by the presence of "organized Caesar salad," which sounds like it was prepared by teamsters.
Down with tapas!
Date: 2007-03-12 07:42 pm (UTC)-- Josh