go ahead and destroy this

PREDICTIONS

AL East
1. Boston Red Sox [if the lower half of the lineup is merely adequate, they will be tough to beat]
2. New York Yankees [imposing lineup but pitching staff is flawed]
3. Baltimore Orioles [plenty of players on the rise; corner production is the key]
4. Toronto Blue Jays [plenty of players due for fall; zero depth means health is crucial]
5. Tampa Bay Devil Rays [will score plenty of runs, but Kazmir can only pitch every five days]

AL Central
1. Minnesota Twins [for this prediction to hold true, Garza and Baker must be in the rotation by May 1]
2. Cleveland Indians [youth and power outweighed by grab-bag bullpen and questionable infield defense]
3. Chicago White Sox [team is aging quickly and the young guys aren't ready to take over]
4. Detroit Tigers [pitching staff comes down to earth and Sheffield's bat finally slows down]
5. Kansas City Royals [Greinke and Gordon could give fans reason to cheer]

AL West
1. Anaheim Angels of Anaheim [Lackey and Santana could win 20 each]
2. Texas Rangers [Millwood, McCarthy et al. just need to keep ERA under 5]
3. Oakland A's [already catching the injury bug; Beane no longer has prospects to deal for help]
4. Seattle Mariners [brought in franchise-savers like Jose Vidro and Jose Guillen. Uck.]

NL East
1. Philadelphia Phillies [Burrell needs to bounce back with .275/.350/.500 season]
2. New York Mets [will Pedro have enough left in the tank to save the pitching staff come July?]
3. Florida Marlins [i'm assuming they'll find another pleasant surprise in the lineup somewhere]
4. Atlanta Braves [see Chicago White Sox]
5. Washington Nationals [will be a long season for the Leavitts]

NL Central
1. St. Louis Cardinals [i have no idea who's going to win this division]
2. Chicago Cubs [i have no idea who's going to win this division]
3. Milwaukee Brewers [i have no idea who's going to win this division]
4. Houston Astros [i have no idea who's going to win this division]
5. Cincinnati Reds [i have no idea who's going to win this division]
6. Pittsburgh Pirates [but it won't be the Pirates]

NL West
1. Los Angeles Dodgers [young stars eagerly awaiting that Nomar, Gonzo injuries]
2. San Diego Padres [not much power, but pitching will be good]
3. Arizona Diamondbacks [still need a power bat to protect all those young hitters]
4. San Francisco Giants [Bonds can't carry a team offensively anymore]
5. Colorado Rockies [one year away from contending]

Playoffs

Angels over Yankees (Wild card)
Red Sox over Twins
Cubs (wild card) over Phillies
Dodgers over Cardinals

Cubs over Cardinals
Red Sox over Angels

Cubs over Red Sox [and MLB officials rejoice]

PREDILECTIONS, teams in order of preference

Oakland Athletics
[My Fantasy Team]
Philadelphia Phillies
Pittsburgh Pirates
Minnesota Twins
San Diego Padres
Milwaukee Brewers
Detroit Tigers
Washington Nationals
Houston Astros
Kansas City Royals
Cleveland Indians
Chicago Cubs
Los Angeles Dodgers
Baltimore Orioles
Toronto Blue Jays
Atlanta Braves
St. Louis Cardinals
Arizona Diamondbacks
Cincinnati Reds
Colorado Rockies
Florida Marlins
Tampa Bay Devil Rays
Boston Red Sox
New York Mets
San Francisco Giants
Seattle Mariners
Texas Rangers
New York Yankees
Anaheim Angels
Chicago White Sox

FEARLESS PREDICTIONS:

Angels over Yankees in 5 games
Red Sox over White Sox in 4 games

Astros over Braves in 4 games
Padres over Cardinals in 4 games

Angels over Red Sox in 6 games
Astros over Padres in 4 games

Astros over Angels in 5 games

10/05/05 UPDATE:

All present and future predictions shall heretofore be known as "The Kiss of Death."