The Awful Tooth

[penfield]

"Every tooth in a man's head is more valuable than a diamond."
- Miguel de Cervantes, Don Quixote

My semi-annual dental check-up went well this morning. No cavities, abcesses or other maxillofacial maladies for me. It was even sort of fun when the doctor showed me some sophisticated new Kodak dental software, which allows a literally in-depth look at one's tooth enamel, showing exactly where the relatively soft spots are. (It is a good thing for me that this software has not yet been adapted for full-body scans.) Apparently I have some vulnerabilities on Tooth No. 13 (which makes sense, since that is my "opening stubborn plastic bags" tooth) though the hygenist admitted that she was very impressed by my general level of fluoridation.

I did receive the standard Flossing Lecture, in which she derided my admitted flossing frequency (already grossly exaggerated by me, lest I admit that my only consistent flossing habit is a last-minute late-night dentu-cram session before my semi-annual visit) was woefully inadequate, and that I should be flossing at least every day, three times a day if possible, and before and after meals, and it might just be a good idea to wear a spool on my belt or around my neck so that I can get in the habit of flossing whenever I'm not actually typing.

Because apparently I have what she called "some calculus" around my teeth, combined with minor gum recession, which could contribute to gingivitis down the line. If it were possible to scare me into more conscientious maintenance of my gums, the mention of gingivitis ought to do it. (I distinctly remember seeing a Discovery Channel documentary on gum disease when I was in high school and thinking that "gingivitis" would make for a much more fearsome and intimidating sports mascot than a "Bear" or a "Tiger," for example, to say nothing of a "Marlin," a "Wizard" or any sort of colored hosiery.)

But I don't know if the situation is quite dire enough for me to floss every day. Already I brush twice daily and swish-and-swirl fanatically with both anti-cavity fluoride rinse and anti-plaque mouthwash. What good is having teeth if you're too exhausted to chew?

Be honest: how often do you floss?
	Daily
	Weekly
	Monthly
	Whenever the mood strikes
	Whenever I have something caught in my teeth
	Just before my dental appointments
	Never
Free polls from Pollhost.com

Comments

Keep My Uncle in Business

[instant-ethos.livejournal.com]

Actually, he's retired. But my uncle is a periodontist. I was never sure if this was just a ploy to keep a stead stream of customers coming to his practice, but he did some very interesting research about the harmful effects of flossing. Especially the harmful effects of habitual flossing several times a day. According to him, flossing can cause great damage to gum tissue. I believe his recommended home treatment involved the WaterPik. I used to have a WaterPik when I had braces. I still believe that the WaterPik is highly under rated, and quite possibly the most fun piece of personal hygeine equipment.

Re: Keep My Uncle in Business

[enchanted-pants.livejournal.com]

Yeah, the WaterPik is pretty fun. I'd put it up near the top of the list, with Q-Tips, tweezers and baby powder.

The Flossing Conspiracy

[(Anonymous)]

Hooo, boy, does this sound familiar. I now floss every day, but only because my new dentist (who is a tool), told me a couple of weeks ago that if I didn't floss every day not only was I going to hell, but I'd be going to hell with no teeth and painful gums (at least that was the message I took away). Then he tried to sell me a fancy electric toothbrush that was only available for sale at his office. I think dentists are out to get me.
--SJB

Re: The Flossing Conspiracy

[enchanted-pants.livejournal.com]

You have my sympathy. Not only for the sake of your poor gums, but for your fingers, too. By the time I'm done flossing, my fingertips look and feel like they've been the subject of a bondage film.

I would be very wary of a dentist who sells special equipment that is only available at his office. Is he a major player in the Dental Black Market, or does it mean he is making the items himself, from spare drill parts?

Re: The Flossing Conspiracy

[(Anonymous)]

Oh, I'm wary of him, all right. Wary of him and his Romanian dental hygienist who wouldn't stop blathering at me about the finer points of Romanian grammar.

He doesn't construct the toothbrushes himself, but he must have some special contract with the company. This is not the first time I've had a dentist try to shill me into buying something unnecessary. I think I have bad luck with dentists.

Re: The Flossing Conspiracy

[village-twins.livejournal.com]

You're a free agent — it's time to switch dentists. (Unless, of course, they slapped you with the franchise tag.)

Re: The Flossing Conspiracy

[village-twins.livejournal.com]

Your fingers hurt? You must be flossing the old-fashioned way. Only old white women — you know, Hillary voters — still do that!

Ever seen one of these?
http://www.superdentalstore.com/images/D/flossbrush1.jpg

Re: The Flossing Conspiracy

[enchanted-pants.livejournal.com]

No, never seen one of those. It looks like it needs to be strung by a professional.

Re: The Flossing Conspiracy

[village-twins.livejournal.com]

I had wanted to be environmentally conscious because SJB was paying attention, but I'll scrap that attempt. Ever seen these:
http://www.ranir.com/images/product/large/Flossups.jpg

(If not, walk into any CVS around town.)

Re: The Flossing Conspiracy

[enchanted-pants.livejournal.com]

J. says she uses those, but I've never seen it. They scare me because they look so much like cheese slicers.

Re: The Flossing Conspiracy

[village-twins.livejournal.com]

You've never seen them? Clearly you haven't spent much time lately in the CVS dental hygiene aisle.

Anyway, they shouldn't scare you. Not the alternative is fingertips that feel like they've been the subject of a bondage film.

Re: The Flossing Conspiracy

[enchanted-pants.livejournal.com]

A) I said I've never seen J. *use* one. I have seen the product before.

B) CVS sucks. The dental hygiene aisle in a CVS is one of the last places I'd ever want to spend any time, along with Beirut and Britney Spears' house.

Re: The Flossing Conspiracy

[(Anonymous)]

C'mon, are we *really* that lazy? If I could, I would buy refillable floss dispensers...

And, yeah, I'll switch dentists. What a hassle.

Re: The Flossing Conspiracy

[village-twins.livejournal.com]

If you could? Of course you can!

(Yes, we can! Yes, we can!)

But seriously, yes such a thing exists. Just about every brand (Gum, Reach, etc.) sells refillable floss dispensers.

Re: The Flossing Conspiracy

[(Anonymous)]

Oh. I guess I haven't been paying attention at my local CVS, either.

Perhaps this will cheer you up

[village-twins.livejournal.com]

Academic researchers have published a study finding that there isn't particularly any relationship between regular teeth cleanings/polishings and periodontal health. That is, there is not strong evidence that hygienist cleaning reduces gingivitis.

Read for yourself:
http://www.nature.com/ebd/journal/v6/n1/full/6400317a.html

Re: Perhaps this will cheer you up

[enchanted-pants.livejournal.com]

Well, the tooth-cleaning part of the examination is probably the least painful for me (aside from the ultrasonic squeal of the water-cleaner and the nauseating taste of the "mint" paste). I object mainly to their irrational fervor for flossing, which impinges on my own time.

That said, it's about time the hammer came down on those dentist bastards.

Re: Perhaps this will cheer you up

[village-twins.livejournal.com]

This study was published in 2005 in a journal called Evidence-Based Dentistry. It must be one slow-as-hell hammer that's coming down.

Re: Perhaps this will cheer you up

[enchanted-pants.livejournal.com]

Hammers have been known to take their time going down.

God, I hope my mom isn't reading this.