I've had enough of this sheet

[penfield]

Why the hell do we bother trying to fold fitted bedsheets? It never works. Sure, you can get a team of four to try and match up the corners, but no matter what you do it always comes out as a crumpled, irregular polygon. I don't understand why we can't just wad it up into a ball and shove it in our linen closet. It's going to get wrinkled anyway. If you're the type of person who cares about wrinkled sheets, you're probably going to care enough to make your bed, in which case the fitted sheet won't even be visible. I would estimate that I've totaled at least a few hours of my entire life trying to fold fitted bedsheets – time that could have been better spent talking to my mother, or eating an ice cream sundae, or picking my nose. Well, I'm done. I urge you all to join me in this boycott and savor how much sweeter your life can be without this simple low-level frustration.

Comments

I will not join!

[smithie98.livejournal.com]

Folding fitted sheets is not that hard. Come to Marnie's School of Folding to learn how! Classes are offered on a first-come, first-served basis on days that laundry is done. Call for further information on location and cost.

Re: I will not join!

[enchanted-pants.livejournal.com]

I am filing away this offer along with my soliciatations to "make money in real estate with no money down!" and "increase your peniss length wow big time."

In other words: baloney.

Re: I will not join!

[(Anonymous)]

that's what they all said until they took my class.

Re: I will not join!

[(Anonymous)]

Really, seriously, Marnie can show you how to do this. She showed me when I was staying with them, and I am now a convert to folding the fitted sheet.

Re: I will not join!

[village-twins.livejournal.com]

I've taken the class. In my major, it is part of the core curriculum. For some reason, though, the class seems to meet quite regularly. (By the way, I'm curious who the "anonymous" is in the comment above this one. SKBK, is that you? ERD? JQB?)

Re: I will not join!

[(Anonymous)]

Worried that your wife is folding sheets with someone else?

Re: I will not join!

[(Anonymous)]

Okay, now I am!

Re: I will not join!

[village-twins.livejournal.com]

Okay, now I am!

Re: I will not join!

[hbinc.livejournal.com]

ERD has not endorsed Marnie's School of Sheet Folding. In fact, I fully support Enchanted Pants' position that it's useless trying to fold fitted sheets. Village_Twins pimp-folding technique for t-shirts, though, is a winner.

Re: I will not join!

[enchanted-pants.livejournal.com]

I thank the gentleman for his support. While I think Village Twins' t-shirt folding technique is fairly nifty, I am too accustomed to my own folding procedures to incorporate it into my laundry regimen.

Which gets me to thinking: why do people bother to fold things at all? Let's look at this logically:
- a folded shirt should theoretically contain no less volume than a wadded-up shirt; the mass and material are constant. We can therefore stipulate that it is not a space-management issue.
- no matter how you fold a shirt, it is going to have creases in it. Folding is merely a way of formalizing and standardizing creases. Conventional thinking suggests that these formal, well-defined creases are better than lots of little tiny creases (as might be obtained by the wadding-up process). But I see no real reason why this conventional wisdom should hold true.

I think, in a perfect world, the ideal clothing storage system would allow us to lay all of our clothes perfectly flat, with no folding necessary, or allow us to hang our shirts without getting the little bumps in the shoulders where the sleeve starts to droop over the hanger. I hate that.

Re: I will not join!

[(Anonymous)]

A folded shirt does take up less room than a wadded-up shirt. Anyone who has packed a suitcases knows this to be true. Fewer crumples mean fewer pockets of wasted air. In addition to saving room, the idea of folding is to minimize creases.

Also, Marnie will advice you to use the proper hanger for each item to avoid having the "little bumps in the shoulders where the sleeve starts to droop."

Re: I will not join!

[smithie98.livejournal.com]

I had no idea that my school of Sheet Folding had hit such a nerve. Clearly a mandatory class needs to be implemented for all visitors to the Leavidefer B & B.

Re: I will not join!

[(Anonymous)]

Yes, that was me. ~SKBK