penfield | hair-brained scheme

I wish that more people would ask me what I think of their hair. Then I would be able to tell them how much I dislike it. Obviously I'm not just going to come up and tell them about it. You have to wait until someone asks your opinion before you can give it.

They probably don't care what I think, and that's fine. What a person does with their hair is their own business. I probably care more about the opinions of others than other people do, especially when it comes to my appearance. I figure, people are looking at me a lot more often than I am looking at me. Shouldn't their opinions be more important?

I hereby authorize you to tell me if I look silly or stupid or ugly. (Except you, Ethan.)

Actually, people love unsolicited comments about how good they look. With some people, it's almost a test, where they're waiting to see how long it takes before you recognize that they've made some aesthetic adjustment, and if you're not quick enough, you're a failure as a friend or co-worker. If by some chance you notice and you say "hey, your hair looks great!" they say "oh, thanks, that's so sweet of you to say." But if you just come out and say it looks like shit, it's like you just kicked their dog or something. People are so sensitive.

I am ashamed to say that there have been times when I thought a person's hair looked absolutely horrible, like something excreted by a zoo animal, but I lied and told them it looked nice anyway. You have to do that sometimes, just to get along.

Man, being in a society is hard work.

But who the hell am I to talk about hair? I shamed all of mine away. I am not a trend-setter. I am barely a trend-follower. If they were passing out cool at the bank, I would be at the very end of the snaking "wait here for service" line, and by the time I get to the front everyone will have switched to the Euro.

But still. I have to look at it. Shouldn't that make my opinion worth something?