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Baby steps toward manhood
Nov. 9th, 2004 10:49 amToday is the first day of the rest of my life. Funny that it's a Tuesday. Whenever I thought about the first day of the rest of my life, I always thought it would be a Sunday or a Monday, since they seem like such "beginning"-type days. or maybe they might even be a Friday or a Saturday, since that's when real life so often begins, i.e., after work. But Tuesday. It's so random and ordinary.
It's the least interesting day of the week, really. I mean, Sunday is God's day. Definite cachet.
Monday has the ingominy of being the first day of the workweek, characterized by sluggishness and irritation. There is even a phrase, "a case of the Mondays," although saying this will evidently get your ass kicked at some construction sites.
Wednesday is the middle day of the week, which would normally limit its appeal. But it is because Wednesday is the exact mid-point of the week that gives it its personality. It is the tipping point between the beginning of the week and the end of the week. In fact, it is only day of the week with a nickname, "Hump Day," even though most research suggests that the majority of people get laid on the weekends.
Thursday also exists in the muddled netherworld of mid-week, and does lack the intensity of Wednesday and the insouciance of Friday. However, about 20 years ago, television networks turned Thursday night into an event with the advent of Must-See TV. Now, networks save their best shows for Thursday, and charge the highest ad rates for their airtime. Cosby, Seinfeld, ER, Friends, the Apprentice, and even The Simpsons for a while gave Thursday a distinctive identity. And now, with the influence of a youthful leisure society, Thursday has become a popular night for socializing, practically adopted as a part of the weekend. Thursday is the new Friday.
And Friday is still pretty good. End of the workweek and time to let off some steam, Friday evokes such positive neurological responses that they named a chain restaurant after it.
Saturday is the sexiest of all the days. If the week was a high school class, Saturday would be the starting quarterback for the football team. You can do anything you want on Saturday: you can sleep late, you can stay out until dawn, you can watch a sporting event, you can shop, you can clean, you can exercise and get all sweaty and no one will ever have to know because there's plenty of time to shower. And you can shower all day if you please. Who's going to stop you? Fuck 'em! It's Saturday!
(I acknowledge that individuals in the Orthodox Jewish community may object to this rationale, since Saturday is the Sabbath, and they are prevented from doing many of the above-listed activities. But that just makes Saturday all the more special for them. It's kind of too bad they can't loosen up and enjoy it. But I suppose that's why there's Purim.)
Clearly, Tuesday is lame by comparison. It might as well be called "Day #3," like a movie extra. Nobody ever wants to do anything on Tuesday, because they're either still exausted by the previous weekend or daunted by the week ahead. We even tried giving Tuesday Election Day, but that just ended up making everyone depressed.
So maybe I'll wait to start the rest of my life. Just a few days. Maybe even a week or two, just to fully acclimate myself. The last time life started, it was pretty stressful. I know I wish I had been better prepared. I should at least do some stretching.
It's the least interesting day of the week, really. I mean, Sunday is God's day. Definite cachet.
Monday has the ingominy of being the first day of the workweek, characterized by sluggishness and irritation. There is even a phrase, "a case of the Mondays," although saying this will evidently get your ass kicked at some construction sites.
Wednesday is the middle day of the week, which would normally limit its appeal. But it is because Wednesday is the exact mid-point of the week that gives it its personality. It is the tipping point between the beginning of the week and the end of the week. In fact, it is only day of the week with a nickname, "Hump Day," even though most research suggests that the majority of people get laid on the weekends.
Thursday also exists in the muddled netherworld of mid-week, and does lack the intensity of Wednesday and the insouciance of Friday. However, about 20 years ago, television networks turned Thursday night into an event with the advent of Must-See TV. Now, networks save their best shows for Thursday, and charge the highest ad rates for their airtime. Cosby, Seinfeld, ER, Friends, the Apprentice, and even The Simpsons for a while gave Thursday a distinctive identity. And now, with the influence of a youthful leisure society, Thursday has become a popular night for socializing, practically adopted as a part of the weekend. Thursday is the new Friday.
And Friday is still pretty good. End of the workweek and time to let off some steam, Friday evokes such positive neurological responses that they named a chain restaurant after it.
Saturday is the sexiest of all the days. If the week was a high school class, Saturday would be the starting quarterback for the football team. You can do anything you want on Saturday: you can sleep late, you can stay out until dawn, you can watch a sporting event, you can shop, you can clean, you can exercise and get all sweaty and no one will ever have to know because there's plenty of time to shower. And you can shower all day if you please. Who's going to stop you? Fuck 'em! It's Saturday!
(I acknowledge that individuals in the Orthodox Jewish community may object to this rationale, since Saturday is the Sabbath, and they are prevented from doing many of the above-listed activities. But that just makes Saturday all the more special for them. It's kind of too bad they can't loosen up and enjoy it. But I suppose that's why there's Purim.)
Clearly, Tuesday is lame by comparison. It might as well be called "Day #3," like a movie extra. Nobody ever wants to do anything on Tuesday, because they're either still exausted by the previous weekend or daunted by the week ahead. We even tried giving Tuesday Election Day, but that just ended up making everyone depressed.
So maybe I'll wait to start the rest of my life. Just a few days. Maybe even a week or two, just to fully acclimate myself. The last time life started, it was pretty stressful. I know I wish I had been better prepared. I should at least do some stretching.
