I am not an animal. I am a human itching.
Jun. 9th, 2005 04:36 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
penfieldI am covered from head-to-toe in mosquito bites right now. While I was sleeping soundly on Tuesday night, some little ratbastard mosquito enjoyed an all-you-can-eat buffet on my supple, fleshy body. There are drawbacks to being moist and delicious.
I have one bite on my knee, two on the left side of my torso, one on my elbow, one behind my ear and two on my forehead. The one on the elbow is by far the itchiest, perhaps because it is constantly brushing against the inside of my freshly-starched shirt.
But the ones on my forehead are no funfest either, particuarly from an aesthetic perspective, since they are absolutely enormous. That goddamn mosquito must have been sucking on me like a fat man trying to drink a milkshake through a swizzle stick. These are not mere bug bites; they are minor appendages. For each there is the reddish point of origin, of course, surrounded by a larger area of conspicuous swelling. It doesn't look like a pair of zits. It looks like a pair of breasts.
I have been covering one of them with a band-aid, but I am reluctant to wear two band-aids simultaneously, as they would overlap and draw even more attention to my increasingly misshapen cranium. Still, this allows the other one to breathe freely; my hope is that, sensing freedom, it will develop into a separate organism and detach itself.
In the meantime, I will continue to slather myself with hydrocortisone, pull my baseball cap down tightly and continue work on my citronella-powered mosquitocide device.
I have one bite on my knee, two on the left side of my torso, one on my elbow, one behind my ear and two on my forehead. The one on the elbow is by far the itchiest, perhaps because it is constantly brushing against the inside of my freshly-starched shirt.
But the ones on my forehead are no funfest either, particuarly from an aesthetic perspective, since they are absolutely enormous. That goddamn mosquito must have been sucking on me like a fat man trying to drink a milkshake through a swizzle stick. These are not mere bug bites; they are minor appendages. For each there is the reddish point of origin, of course, surrounded by a larger area of conspicuous swelling. It doesn't look like a pair of zits. It looks like a pair of breasts.
I have been covering one of them with a band-aid, but I am reluctant to wear two band-aids simultaneously, as they would overlap and draw even more attention to my increasingly misshapen cranium. Still, this allows the other one to breathe freely; my hope is that, sensing freedom, it will develop into a separate organism and detach itself.
In the meantime, I will continue to slather myself with hydrocortisone, pull my baseball cap down tightly and continue work on my citronella-powered mosquitocide device.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
Re: Mosquitos
Date: 2005-06-10 04:53 pm (UTC)on a side note: every one knows that hot water only acerbates swelling--it opens up blood vessels and pores, allowing the body's defense system to travel more easily to the site of infection/injury. COLD water on the other hand does the opposite (hence why people like to soak hot feet in cold water, burned skin in cold water, and why you put ice on a sprained ankle).
Re: Mosquitos
Date: 2005-06-13 02:19 pm (UTC)