precious bodily fluids
Nov. 5th, 2008 04:12 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
penfieldWater, water, every where,
And all the boards did shrink ;
Water, water, every where,
Nor any drop to drink.
The very deep did rot : O Christ !
That ever this should be !
Yea, slimy things did crawl with legs
Upon the slimy sea.
About, about, in reel and rout
The death-fires danced at night ;
The water, like a witch's oils,
Burnt green, and blue and white.
- from "Rime of the Ancient Mariner" by Samuel Taylor Coleridge
The human body is supposedly something like 75 percent water. For that matter, so is the Earth's surface, and Bud Light. It is all part of the circle of life. Even this mortal coil of ours is just a way station in the grand hydrologic cycle.
But doctors and nutritionists say that this is still not enough. They say that people should have eight 8-oz. glasses of water per day, and even more if you happen to be on fire.
Let's put aside for the moment that this guideline is very possibly a bunch of hooey. The fact remains that my lovely girlfriend may be one of those chronically dehydrated people who needs to drink more water. And she has asked me to match her glass-for-glass over the next month. Whomever fails to keep up owes the other person "a fancy dinner" (where, presumably, we would turn "water" into "wine.")
But, because we can't make anything easy, there are all sorts of caveats:
Juice counts. Because let's face it: water is boring as hell. Lemonade, apple cider and orange juice all apply toward the daily total. I usually water-down all of my juice anyhow, partially to make the beverages last longer but mostly because I am so damn sweet already.
But not soda, or coffee, or tea, or alcohol. Because these beverages are thought to have diuretic/dehydrative properties, they do not apply to the total. This remains a point of contention for me, as I generally only drink diet and caffeine-free soda. Meanwhile, J. is the primary consumer of coffee, tea and alcoholic beverages, which I think should actually negate equivalent amounts of water and tea (though I fear this would only push her toward small but potent shots of espresso and tequila).
Ice. Ice apparently doesn't count, unless it melts entirely. But water vapor does count, if you allow it to evaporate between sips. The rules do not yet cover chemical sublimation; I would probably rather just spring for dinner than contemplate the involvement of dry ice.
In fact, the stakes are mundane enough that I am tempted to just make the dinner reservations now. But I'm going along with it, at least enough to motivate J., because good boyfriends are supportive and keep their fat-mouthed opinions to themselves and don't mind getting up to pee every ten minutes, not to mention the fact that our office doesn't have a water cooler anymore, so I have to get my workplace water from the refrigerator dispenser (which seems to add a regrettable copper flavoring) or fancy-pants bottled spring water (which makes me look and feel like a pretentious tool).
The human body is also made up of multiple complex sugars. Can't we have some sort of glazed doughnut competition?
And all the boards did shrink ;
Water, water, every where,
Nor any drop to drink.
The very deep did rot : O Christ !
That ever this should be !
Yea, slimy things did crawl with legs
Upon the slimy sea.
About, about, in reel and rout
The death-fires danced at night ;
The water, like a witch's oils,
Burnt green, and blue and white.
- from "Rime of the Ancient Mariner" by Samuel Taylor Coleridge
The human body is supposedly something like 75 percent water. For that matter, so is the Earth's surface, and Bud Light. It is all part of the circle of life. Even this mortal coil of ours is just a way station in the grand hydrologic cycle.
But doctors and nutritionists say that this is still not enough. They say that people should have eight 8-oz. glasses of water per day, and even more if you happen to be on fire.
Let's put aside for the moment that this guideline is very possibly a bunch of hooey. The fact remains that my lovely girlfriend may be one of those chronically dehydrated people who needs to drink more water. And she has asked me to match her glass-for-glass over the next month. Whomever fails to keep up owes the other person "a fancy dinner" (where, presumably, we would turn "water" into "wine.")
But, because we can't make anything easy, there are all sorts of caveats:
Juice counts. Because let's face it: water is boring as hell. Lemonade, apple cider and orange juice all apply toward the daily total. I usually water-down all of my juice anyhow, partially to make the beverages last longer but mostly because I am so damn sweet already.
But not soda, or coffee, or tea, or alcohol. Because these beverages are thought to have diuretic/dehydrative properties, they do not apply to the total. This remains a point of contention for me, as I generally only drink diet and caffeine-free soda. Meanwhile, J. is the primary consumer of coffee, tea and alcoholic beverages, which I think should actually negate equivalent amounts of water and tea (though I fear this would only push her toward small but potent shots of espresso and tequila).
Ice. Ice apparently doesn't count, unless it melts entirely. But water vapor does count, if you allow it to evaporate between sips. The rules do not yet cover chemical sublimation; I would probably rather just spring for dinner than contemplate the involvement of dry ice.
In fact, the stakes are mundane enough that I am tempted to just make the dinner reservations now. But I'm going along with it, at least enough to motivate J., because good boyfriends are supportive and keep their fat-mouthed opinions to themselves and don't mind getting up to pee every ten minutes, not to mention the fact that our office doesn't have a water cooler anymore, so I have to get my workplace water from the refrigerator dispenser (which seems to add a regrettable copper flavoring) or fancy-pants bottled spring water (which makes me look and feel like a pretentious tool).
The human body is also made up of multiple complex sugars. Can't we have some sort of glazed doughnut competition?
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no subject
Date: 2008-11-06 07:41 am (UTC)fyi -
soda, coffee, tea and alcohol DO count (alcohol much less so, but still some), but there is SOME dehydration involved, so it's not directly equivalent to the good stuff.
overall, i like the rules here. :D
ps - i can tolerate oj only when i make an "orangeade" ... 1/4 oj to 3/4 water. otherwise, the sweetness negates the enjoyment of what is truly liquid sunshine to me. well, that, and I am also just way too sweet for my own good. :D :D
no subject
Date: 2008-11-06 07:42 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-11-06 02:36 pm (UTC)I have trouble coming up with subject lines
Date: 2008-11-06 02:42 pm (UTC)I think XTine read a book during her pregnancy that debunked this myth. The number appeared out of nowhere and has been repeated for 80 years.
no subject
Date: 2008-11-06 09:00 pm (UTC)I wouldn't count hard alcohol at all, but maybe piddly portions of the beer, or the mixers added to the alcohol.