Television Quest
Apr. 7th, 2005 02:13 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
penfieldI like watching TV. I'm not ashamed to admit it. There are plenty of cultural snobs out there who turn up their noses at television, as if they're too good for mass broadcast entertainment. "I don't even own a TV," they will sometimes say, as if this qualifies them for Mensa.
Well, those people can have their books and their chess and their opera. I'll be sitting on my couch, munching a salty snack and enjoying a good laugh or an action-packed moment provided by our overpaid friends in Hollywood. Who's entertaining you? Ayn Rand? Luciano Pavarotti? I'll take Jennifer Garner and Homer Simpson, thanks.
TV is important to me. It is not only my release after a long day of toil and sweat, it is also a window to – and, yea, a mirror of – today's culture. I am fascinated by its trends, mesmerized by its values, occasionally horrified by its obvious plastic surgery. It is who we are as a people, writ large.
And I do mean large. Because I have a big TV. 52 widescreen inches of high-definition power, blasting me with Dolby 5.1 surround sound, slowly scorching my retinas like a solar eclipse. If I'm going to like watching TV, I want to enjoy liking it.
(Some folks might suggest that my entertainment system is a feeble attempt to overcompensate for certain anatomical inadequacies. That is a fair assumption. But let me tell you, a large TV is not going to help anyone's feelings in that department; you have never felt so puny as after seeing how a 52" television magnifies a porno actor's already massive wang.)
As you might expect, I have a pretty sophisticated cable package to go along with my home theater. Recently, I was offered the opportunity to add DVR, or Digital Video Recording, to my system. Similar to TiVo, it allows you to pause live TV, fast-forward through commercials, orient defense satellites, etc. It is also the only real way to record high-definition programming. (This is pretty critical for me. I have gotten pretty used to Hi-Def by now, and switching from that to VHS is like going from First Class to dangling off of the landing gear.)
I signed up for the trial period, and now I am hooked. And as part of my DVR experience, I can set it to record certain shows every time they appear, without having to worry about setting my VCR, which would also require me to set the clock on my VCR. What follows are the shows on my auto-record list:
Arrested Development, Sundays at 8:30 p.m. on FOX
I'd like to take formal responsibility for being one of the first people to find this show and spread its gospel. I'm gratified that my recommendations for this show seem to have taken root somewhat, especially since people are generally somewhat skeptical of my television preferences – for reasons that may become more evident as you scroll further down this list.
Though I was wary of Jason Bateman-as-lead character (he hadn't really been any good in anything since Silver Spoons), I was enamored by the depth and inspiration of casting (I'm still shocked that David Cross isn't starring in his own show already) and the absence of a laugh track. I instinctively trust any situation comedy that has the courage to function without a laugh track.
The show is also "edgy," which is a code word in the entertainment business for being a pain in the network's ass. The language is daring and often profane, the themes are of an obliquely adult nature, and the show takes every possible opportunity to bitch-slap the network that is keeping it on the air. Thematically, it is basically The Simpsons with a larger makeup budget.
Predictably, the show is on the precipice of cancellation. Even now that Arrested Development won the Best Comedy Emmy, the show still struggles with droopy ratings and recently had their episode order cut back from 22 to 18 episodes. Truthfully, this is not necessarily a bad thing. The show went through a somewhat self-satisfied lack of focus around the middle of the season, relying strongly on crass bodily functions and Special Guest Stars, gags not typically indicative of a creative apex. But the rush to wrap everything up has made the most recent episodes tighter and funnier. Not that anyone is noticing.
For now, it remains the best sitcom on TV, at least it is cancelled or until Curb Your Enthusiasm comes back on the air.
24, Mondays at 9:00 p.m on FOX
The brilliance of this show's design still holds up in its fourth season, as long as you can set aside the fact that, throughout the course of 24 straight hours, we never see any of these characters eat or use the bathroom unless it's an elemental part of a CTU tactical operation.
Once this disbelief is suspended, the show is a whirling dervish of suspense and action. It is also refreshingly honest, in that It doesn't pretend to be "smart." Yes, there are people talking about protocols and systems and whatnot, but it always seems to come down to people beating the shit out of each other. Don't think about it too much, or you'll just end up yelling at the screen. Just sit back and enjoy the ride.
One of the cool things about this year's ride – besides jettisoning the sexy-but-absurd Elisha Cuthbert/Kim Bauer character – is that they premiered the show in January, meaning 24 straight episodes without a hiatus, pre-emptions or reruns. The only thing you have to be careful of is accidentally tuning in too early and seeing the last thirty nauseating seconds of American Idol.
Everwood, Mondays at 9:00 p.m. on The WB
Everwood is everything that 24 is not: slow, sensitive, gauzy and precious. It centers on a widowed New York City doctor who moves his teenage son and young daughter to a quaint mountain town and documents their interactions with the quaint mountain people. Think Northern Exposure + Dawson's Creek. In fact, it is a direct descendant of the latter show in that it was developed by a former "Dawson" producer and features the same hyper-literate, extraordinarily self-aware dialogue between teenage people who are clearly not of this earth.
I can't figure out why I like this show, since the two main characters are so insufferable. Treat Williams is so gentle and wishy-washy as Dr. Andy Brown that I can't believe it's the same guy who played Critical Bill. And Gregory Smith as his son Ephram is such a smug, snot-nosed little punk that he actually resembles a real teenager.
Part of the appeal has got to be Emily Van Camp as Amy Abbott, the most endearing TV teenager since Joey Potter. (Though that title is now being challenged by Everwood's newest cast member, Sarah Drew as Hannah, who is cuter than a button factory.) Meanwhile, Amy's father, the tightly-wound Dr. Harold Abbott Jr. as played by Tom Amandes, is the show's most reliable source of comic relief.
Plots vary in quality from episode to episode, but I give the producers credit for building season-long story arcs that are both juicy and compelling. Everwood is a lot like a salad; not bad for you, but not really hearty enough to be a satisfying meal.
Scrubs, Tuesdays at 9:00 p.m. on NBC
I just recently started watching this oft-lauded show starring everyone's newest favorite neurotic-hipster-geek-genius, Zach Braff.
(Aside: I keep hearing how brilliant "Garden State" was, like he's the next Woody Allen or something. Please. "Garden State" is a movie for twentysomethings who just want to say that they liked something. For anyone who says it was such a great movie, I dare you to tell me what it was about. Give up? You can't, because it tried to be about 14 different things but never really decided what to say about any of them, so it ended up being about kissing Natalie Portman. I could write three scripts a day about that if I wanted to. And I kinda do.)
But "Scrubs" is pretty good, especially since it subscribes to my "no laugh track" policy. The supporting cast is top-notch, and their Special Guest Stars are effective without getting in the way (a lesson "Arrested Development" could stand to learn). I look forward to its entry into syndication, so I can catch up on everything I've missed so far.
Smallville, Wednesdays at 8:00 p.m. on The WB and Weekdays at 7:00 p.m. on ABC Family
I have never in my life read a Superman comic book, so I don't know whether the show is holding true to the serial legend of the Man of Steel. I started watching the show last year when it preceded the now-cancelled "Angel" and have since been trying to catch up on the show's own mythology by watching the syndicated episodes.
Anyway, it's pretty clear that this show desperately wants to be Buffy the Vampire Slayer in terms of scope and style. Their early episodes even copied the "mutant/freak/demon-of-the-week" formula. But because Smallville's action is never quite so elegantly rooted in reality like Buffy's was, it will never be as smart and incisive as Buffy (Which is a pretty high standard anyway, since it is one of the top 50 shows of all time, according to TV Guide). That's understandable, because not only must Smallville adhere to the pulpy ethos of its source material, but it is also part of a larger story, where the universe is finite and the conclusion is forgone.
It's this rich mythology that makes it addictive. And there may be no more interesting character on TV than Lex Luthor, and I'm not just saying that because he's bald. His incipient transformation from ally to villain is the fuel that keeps the series going.
And speaking of characters, everyone assumes that the nubile Lana Lang, as played by Kristin Kreuk, is a major drawing card for me. Sure, Lana is hot in a weird, exotic sort of way. But what I don't understand is why Clark isn't totally in love with Chloe like I am.
Alias, Wednesdays at 9:00 p.m. on ABC
Another show I just started watching this season, Alias has been dismissed by me in the past for being nothing more than an excuse to put Sydney (Jennifer Garner) in a series of increasingly preposterous outfits and increasingly preposterous situations. I meant that as an insult at the time, but I have come to realize that it makes for pretty good TV.
Unlike many fans of the show, I don't really care about the romantic and family interactions between the characters; I'm just in it for the outfits and the action. That said, if those interactions would make people on the show a little less sullen, it would be nice. Michael Vartan's character and Jennifer Garner's character get to have hot spy nookie on a regular basis, and somehow they both always look like someone just ran over their puppy.
One thing I find very interesting about this show is the opening credits. It's basically a flashy sequence of Garner in all those different outfits, set to a hot techno beat, while the cast names flash in the lower right hand corner. To this day, I still don't know the names of the other actors on that show, because I'm too busy watching all the Jennifer Garners to read anything.
The O.C., Thursdays at 8:00 p.m. on FOX
Since before its premiere, this show has been compared to Beverly Hills 90210, a show I must say I have never ever seen. But I can't imagine any show, past or present, being as eye-candy-coated as The O.C., and this is coming from someone who watched a solid three seasons of Melrose Place. Everyone on screen has such magnificent bone structure and lean muscle mass that I sometimes forget it's not a Soloflex commercial.
I think every guy who watches this show thinks of himself as Seth Cohen (played by Adam Brody), in much the same way male "Friends" watchers liked to think of themselves as Chandler Bing: smart, sarcastic, funny and attractive in a non-threatening way. And the truth is, most of us really are like that. But the rest of that truth is, girls in real life don't actually like that so much, which is why guys like Ryan Atwood and Joey Tribbiani are the ones always getting laid.
Like most kids today, these O.C.ers are moving way too fast. They're midway through the second season, and there have already been strippers, porno movies, mental institutionalizations, unwed pregnancies, fugitives from the law, teenage runaways, trial lesbianism, drinking problems and illegitimate children popping up all over the place like Culkin siblings. At this rate, by the middle of next season Marissa Cooper will be having coked-up sex orgies while Sandy is named attorney general of California. Of course, Seth will continue dating Summer, simply because she's the only remaining cast member he's not somehow related to.
CSI, Thursdays at 9:00 p.m. on CBS
I used to be able to watch this show without any sense of shame or irony. I enjoyed the slick style, the no-nonsense characterizations, and the clever plot twists. It made science seem fun.
Then I read Phunwin's blog post about the show and now I can't watch the damn show without thinking that the dialogue was written by chimps. Or scientists. They're both about equally good at stringing words together.
Like Alias, this show seems to be populated by people with very unsatisfying personal lives. The main character, Grissom, has all the warmth of a Sno Cone. The Sara Seidel character has developed a perma-scowl that would frighten away Mr. T. The Catherine Willows character is actually sort of sweet – when she's not whining about being a single mom. And the writers keep threatening to include more of this personal drama with the usual caseload, as if we want to be invited in to this dysfunctional funhouse. Just stick to bullet wounds and carpet fibers, okay?
Joan of Arcadia, Fridays at 8:00 on CBS
When this show first premiered last year, I resented it, because I was sure it was going to be all pious, like an afterschool version of Highway to Heaven. Then I watched it, and the characters were kind of sweet, especially Amber Tamblyn's abundantly human portrayal of Joan Girardi, and I started to like it. Now we're halfway through the second season, and I'm getting a little bored with it. And that's really saying something, because this season has featured plot points such as murder, infidelity, and teenage sexuality.
Much of the entertaining adolescent angst evaporated this season, with Joan and Adam as boyfriend and girlfriend and Luke and Grace hooking up. Instead, all the juicy conflict has revolved around Joan and Luke's parents, who seem like very nice people but are excruciatingly dull. The Kevin Girardi character arc, the most consistently deep and interesting aspect of the show, has been given as much attention this season as I have given it in this blog.
Finally last week, Joan and Adam broke up, which could generate some interesting drama, although it's probably more likely to generate more general weeping. Given the show's ratings slump this year, it's probably a safe bet that they'll still be weeping come cancellation season.
The themes I liked most about this show – about the struggles of misfit teenagers to cope with the world around them – were explored more deftly and humorously in the late Freaks and Geeks, a vastly superior show that NBC cancelled years ago. You should check it out on DVD. If Joan of Arcadia can not successfully recapture the charm of those themes, then it basically becomes "Touched by an Angel," which is the television equivalent of strained carrots.
Well, those people can have their books and their chess and their opera. I'll be sitting on my couch, munching a salty snack and enjoying a good laugh or an action-packed moment provided by our overpaid friends in Hollywood. Who's entertaining you? Ayn Rand? Luciano Pavarotti? I'll take Jennifer Garner and Homer Simpson, thanks.
TV is important to me. It is not only my release after a long day of toil and sweat, it is also a window to – and, yea, a mirror of – today's culture. I am fascinated by its trends, mesmerized by its values, occasionally horrified by its obvious plastic surgery. It is who we are as a people, writ large.
And I do mean large. Because I have a big TV. 52 widescreen inches of high-definition power, blasting me with Dolby 5.1 surround sound, slowly scorching my retinas like a solar eclipse. If I'm going to like watching TV, I want to enjoy liking it.
(Some folks might suggest that my entertainment system is a feeble attempt to overcompensate for certain anatomical inadequacies. That is a fair assumption. But let me tell you, a large TV is not going to help anyone's feelings in that department; you have never felt so puny as after seeing how a 52" television magnifies a porno actor's already massive wang.)
As you might expect, I have a pretty sophisticated cable package to go along with my home theater. Recently, I was offered the opportunity to add DVR, or Digital Video Recording, to my system. Similar to TiVo, it allows you to pause live TV, fast-forward through commercials, orient defense satellites, etc. It is also the only real way to record high-definition programming. (This is pretty critical for me. I have gotten pretty used to Hi-Def by now, and switching from that to VHS is like going from First Class to dangling off of the landing gear.)
I signed up for the trial period, and now I am hooked. And as part of my DVR experience, I can set it to record certain shows every time they appear, without having to worry about setting my VCR, which would also require me to set the clock on my VCR. What follows are the shows on my auto-record list:
Arrested Development, Sundays at 8:30 p.m. on FOX
I'd like to take formal responsibility for being one of the first people to find this show and spread its gospel. I'm gratified that my recommendations for this show seem to have taken root somewhat, especially since people are generally somewhat skeptical of my television preferences – for reasons that may become more evident as you scroll further down this list.
Though I was wary of Jason Bateman-as-lead character (he hadn't really been any good in anything since Silver Spoons), I was enamored by the depth and inspiration of casting (I'm still shocked that David Cross isn't starring in his own show already) and the absence of a laugh track. I instinctively trust any situation comedy that has the courage to function without a laugh track.
The show is also "edgy," which is a code word in the entertainment business for being a pain in the network's ass. The language is daring and often profane, the themes are of an obliquely adult nature, and the show takes every possible opportunity to bitch-slap the network that is keeping it on the air. Thematically, it is basically The Simpsons with a larger makeup budget.
Predictably, the show is on the precipice of cancellation. Even now that Arrested Development won the Best Comedy Emmy, the show still struggles with droopy ratings and recently had their episode order cut back from 22 to 18 episodes. Truthfully, this is not necessarily a bad thing. The show went through a somewhat self-satisfied lack of focus around the middle of the season, relying strongly on crass bodily functions and Special Guest Stars, gags not typically indicative of a creative apex. But the rush to wrap everything up has made the most recent episodes tighter and funnier. Not that anyone is noticing.
For now, it remains the best sitcom on TV, at least it is cancelled or until Curb Your Enthusiasm comes back on the air.
24, Mondays at 9:00 p.m on FOX
The brilliance of this show's design still holds up in its fourth season, as long as you can set aside the fact that, throughout the course of 24 straight hours, we never see any of these characters eat or use the bathroom unless it's an elemental part of a CTU tactical operation.
Once this disbelief is suspended, the show is a whirling dervish of suspense and action. It is also refreshingly honest, in that It doesn't pretend to be "smart." Yes, there are people talking about protocols and systems and whatnot, but it always seems to come down to people beating the shit out of each other. Don't think about it too much, or you'll just end up yelling at the screen. Just sit back and enjoy the ride.
One of the cool things about this year's ride – besides jettisoning the sexy-but-absurd Elisha Cuthbert/Kim Bauer character – is that they premiered the show in January, meaning 24 straight episodes without a hiatus, pre-emptions or reruns. The only thing you have to be careful of is accidentally tuning in too early and seeing the last thirty nauseating seconds of American Idol.
Everwood, Mondays at 9:00 p.m. on The WB
Everwood is everything that 24 is not: slow, sensitive, gauzy and precious. It centers on a widowed New York City doctor who moves his teenage son and young daughter to a quaint mountain town and documents their interactions with the quaint mountain people. Think Northern Exposure + Dawson's Creek. In fact, it is a direct descendant of the latter show in that it was developed by a former "Dawson" producer and features the same hyper-literate, extraordinarily self-aware dialogue between teenage people who are clearly not of this earth.
I can't figure out why I like this show, since the two main characters are so insufferable. Treat Williams is so gentle and wishy-washy as Dr. Andy Brown that I can't believe it's the same guy who played Critical Bill. And Gregory Smith as his son Ephram is such a smug, snot-nosed little punk that he actually resembles a real teenager.
Part of the appeal has got to be Emily Van Camp as Amy Abbott, the most endearing TV teenager since Joey Potter. (Though that title is now being challenged by Everwood's newest cast member, Sarah Drew as Hannah, who is cuter than a button factory.) Meanwhile, Amy's father, the tightly-wound Dr. Harold Abbott Jr. as played by Tom Amandes, is the show's most reliable source of comic relief.
Plots vary in quality from episode to episode, but I give the producers credit for building season-long story arcs that are both juicy and compelling. Everwood is a lot like a salad; not bad for you, but not really hearty enough to be a satisfying meal.
Scrubs, Tuesdays at 9:00 p.m. on NBC
I just recently started watching this oft-lauded show starring everyone's newest favorite neurotic-hipster-geek-genius, Zach Braff.
(Aside: I keep hearing how brilliant "Garden State" was, like he's the next Woody Allen or something. Please. "Garden State" is a movie for twentysomethings who just want to say that they liked something. For anyone who says it was such a great movie, I dare you to tell me what it was about. Give up? You can't, because it tried to be about 14 different things but never really decided what to say about any of them, so it ended up being about kissing Natalie Portman. I could write three scripts a day about that if I wanted to. And I kinda do.)
But "Scrubs" is pretty good, especially since it subscribes to my "no laugh track" policy. The supporting cast is top-notch, and their Special Guest Stars are effective without getting in the way (a lesson "Arrested Development" could stand to learn). I look forward to its entry into syndication, so I can catch up on everything I've missed so far.
Smallville, Wednesdays at 8:00 p.m. on The WB and Weekdays at 7:00 p.m. on ABC Family
I have never in my life read a Superman comic book, so I don't know whether the show is holding true to the serial legend of the Man of Steel. I started watching the show last year when it preceded the now-cancelled "Angel" and have since been trying to catch up on the show's own mythology by watching the syndicated episodes.
Anyway, it's pretty clear that this show desperately wants to be Buffy the Vampire Slayer in terms of scope and style. Their early episodes even copied the "mutant/freak/demon-of-the-week" formula. But because Smallville's action is never quite so elegantly rooted in reality like Buffy's was, it will never be as smart and incisive as Buffy (Which is a pretty high standard anyway, since it is one of the top 50 shows of all time, according to TV Guide). That's understandable, because not only must Smallville adhere to the pulpy ethos of its source material, but it is also part of a larger story, where the universe is finite and the conclusion is forgone.
It's this rich mythology that makes it addictive. And there may be no more interesting character on TV than Lex Luthor, and I'm not just saying that because he's bald. His incipient transformation from ally to villain is the fuel that keeps the series going.
And speaking of characters, everyone assumes that the nubile Lana Lang, as played by Kristin Kreuk, is a major drawing card for me. Sure, Lana is hot in a weird, exotic sort of way. But what I don't understand is why Clark isn't totally in love with Chloe like I am.
Alias, Wednesdays at 9:00 p.m. on ABC
Another show I just started watching this season, Alias has been dismissed by me in the past for being nothing more than an excuse to put Sydney (Jennifer Garner) in a series of increasingly preposterous outfits and increasingly preposterous situations. I meant that as an insult at the time, but I have come to realize that it makes for pretty good TV.
Unlike many fans of the show, I don't really care about the romantic and family interactions between the characters; I'm just in it for the outfits and the action. That said, if those interactions would make people on the show a little less sullen, it would be nice. Michael Vartan's character and Jennifer Garner's character get to have hot spy nookie on a regular basis, and somehow they both always look like someone just ran over their puppy.
One thing I find very interesting about this show is the opening credits. It's basically a flashy sequence of Garner in all those different outfits, set to a hot techno beat, while the cast names flash in the lower right hand corner. To this day, I still don't know the names of the other actors on that show, because I'm too busy watching all the Jennifer Garners to read anything.
The O.C., Thursdays at 8:00 p.m. on FOX
Since before its premiere, this show has been compared to Beverly Hills 90210, a show I must say I have never ever seen. But I can't imagine any show, past or present, being as eye-candy-coated as The O.C., and this is coming from someone who watched a solid three seasons of Melrose Place. Everyone on screen has such magnificent bone structure and lean muscle mass that I sometimes forget it's not a Soloflex commercial.
I think every guy who watches this show thinks of himself as Seth Cohen (played by Adam Brody), in much the same way male "Friends" watchers liked to think of themselves as Chandler Bing: smart, sarcastic, funny and attractive in a non-threatening way. And the truth is, most of us really are like that. But the rest of that truth is, girls in real life don't actually like that so much, which is why guys like Ryan Atwood and Joey Tribbiani are the ones always getting laid.
Like most kids today, these O.C.ers are moving way too fast. They're midway through the second season, and there have already been strippers, porno movies, mental institutionalizations, unwed pregnancies, fugitives from the law, teenage runaways, trial lesbianism, drinking problems and illegitimate children popping up all over the place like Culkin siblings. At this rate, by the middle of next season Marissa Cooper will be having coked-up sex orgies while Sandy is named attorney general of California. Of course, Seth will continue dating Summer, simply because she's the only remaining cast member he's not somehow related to.
CSI, Thursdays at 9:00 p.m. on CBS
I used to be able to watch this show without any sense of shame or irony. I enjoyed the slick style, the no-nonsense characterizations, and the clever plot twists. It made science seem fun.
Then I read Phunwin's blog post about the show and now I can't watch the damn show without thinking that the dialogue was written by chimps. Or scientists. They're both about equally good at stringing words together.
Like Alias, this show seems to be populated by people with very unsatisfying personal lives. The main character, Grissom, has all the warmth of a Sno Cone. The Sara Seidel character has developed a perma-scowl that would frighten away Mr. T. The Catherine Willows character is actually sort of sweet – when she's not whining about being a single mom. And the writers keep threatening to include more of this personal drama with the usual caseload, as if we want to be invited in to this dysfunctional funhouse. Just stick to bullet wounds and carpet fibers, okay?
Joan of Arcadia, Fridays at 8:00 on CBS
When this show first premiered last year, I resented it, because I was sure it was going to be all pious, like an afterschool version of Highway to Heaven. Then I watched it, and the characters were kind of sweet, especially Amber Tamblyn's abundantly human portrayal of Joan Girardi, and I started to like it. Now we're halfway through the second season, and I'm getting a little bored with it. And that's really saying something, because this season has featured plot points such as murder, infidelity, and teenage sexuality.
Much of the entertaining adolescent angst evaporated this season, with Joan and Adam as boyfriend and girlfriend and Luke and Grace hooking up. Instead, all the juicy conflict has revolved around Joan and Luke's parents, who seem like very nice people but are excruciatingly dull. The Kevin Girardi character arc, the most consistently deep and interesting aspect of the show, has been given as much attention this season as I have given it in this blog.
Finally last week, Joan and Adam broke up, which could generate some interesting drama, although it's probably more likely to generate more general weeping. Given the show's ratings slump this year, it's probably a safe bet that they'll still be weeping come cancellation season.
The themes I liked most about this show – about the struggles of misfit teenagers to cope with the world around them – were explored more deftly and humorously in the late Freaks and Geeks, a vastly superior show that NBC cancelled years ago. You should check it out on DVD. If Joan of Arcadia can not successfully recapture the charm of those themes, then it basically becomes "Touched by an Angel," which is the television equivalent of strained carrots.
