The Gift that Keeps On Taking
Feb. 13th, 2007 08:55 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
penfieldUPDATE: Guys are definitely getting screwed, one way or the other.
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This Valentine's Day, I had planned on going the traditional route with gifts of flowers and candy, in addition to my usual Enchanted Love Coupons ("One Automatic Argument Victory," "Temporary PDA License," "Get Out of Plans Free Card").
The only trouble was, my beloved just started her flexible work schedule, which allows her to work from home one day per week. Initially, this "home-work" day was Thursday, but at some point she had to change it to Wednesday. I couldn't remember when this switchover was supposed to happen, which would dictate the delivery location for the flowers.
(I was conflicted about which scenario was preferable: Should I hope for a home delivery, so she doesn't have to lug them home on the metro and numerous city blocks? Or should I hope for work delivery, so that her punk-ass coworkers would suffocate in the intoxicating vapors of our love?)
This past weekend she confirmed that she would be working from home on Wednesday, so I immediately went to the 1-800 Flowers Web site to make my purchase. When I typed in the relevant information and selected "check shipping charge," it listed:
Shipping charge is $26.98 for 02/14/2007
Shipping Upcharge Charge is $10.99
Shipping Base Charge is $10.99
I guess I'm not surprised that there's a premium on last-minute orders, particularly for this somewhat unusual item, but "Shipping Upcharge Charge" just sounds like something they made up. (They could have at least come up with some more creative phrasing, like "Procrastination Tax" or "Desperation Fee.") And speaking of making things up, you might notice, $10.99 plus $10.99 does not equal $26.98. They are clearly just pulling numbers out of the air. Because they think that men will pay anything, rather than take a chance on the hobo on the corner who sells cut flowers out of the bucket that usually serves as his bathroom sink.
Well, they thought wrong. I'm taking my chances with the hobo. But I think I'll find somewhere else to buy the chocolates.
---
This Valentine's Day, I had planned on going the traditional route with gifts of flowers and candy, in addition to my usual Enchanted Love Coupons ("One Automatic Argument Victory," "Temporary PDA License," "Get Out of Plans Free Card").
The only trouble was, my beloved just started her flexible work schedule, which allows her to work from home one day per week. Initially, this "home-work" day was Thursday, but at some point she had to change it to Wednesday. I couldn't remember when this switchover was supposed to happen, which would dictate the delivery location for the flowers.
(I was conflicted about which scenario was preferable: Should I hope for a home delivery, so she doesn't have to lug them home on the metro and numerous city blocks? Or should I hope for work delivery, so that her punk-ass coworkers would suffocate in the intoxicating vapors of our love?)
This past weekend she confirmed that she would be working from home on Wednesday, so I immediately went to the 1-800 Flowers Web site to make my purchase. When I typed in the relevant information and selected "check shipping charge," it listed:
Shipping charge is $26.98 for 02/14/2007
Shipping Upcharge Charge is $10.99
Shipping Base Charge is $10.99
I guess I'm not surprised that there's a premium on last-minute orders, particularly for this somewhat unusual item, but "Shipping Upcharge Charge" just sounds like something they made up. (They could have at least come up with some more creative phrasing, like "Procrastination Tax" or "Desperation Fee.") And speaking of making things up, you might notice, $10.99 plus $10.99 does not equal $26.98. They are clearly just pulling numbers out of the air. Because they think that men will pay anything, rather than take a chance on the hobo on the corner who sells cut flowers out of the bucket that usually serves as his bathroom sink.
Well, they thought wrong. I'm taking my chances with the hobo. But I think I'll find somewhere else to buy the chocolates.
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Flowers and Pee
Date: 2007-02-14 12:58 am (UTC)Additional overcharge
Date: 2007-02-14 12:09 pm (UTC)PUDDY: I just left out a couple of things: uh, rust-proofing. Transport charge, storage surcharge, additional overcharge, finder's fee.
GEORGE: Well, of course they're trying to screw you. What do you think? That's what they do. They can make up anything. Nobody knows. "By the way, you need a new Johnson rod in there."
Re: Flowers and Pee
Date: 2007-02-14 02:32 pm (UTC)Re: Additional overcharge
Date: 2007-02-14 03:46 pm (UTC)