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penfield"Euphemisms are not, as many young people think, useless verbiage for that which can and should be said bluntly; they are like secret agents on a delicate mission, they must airily pass by a stinking mess with barely so much as a nod of the head"
- Quentin Crisp
There are some phrases that have become such an entrenched part of our lexicon that we don't even think about what they mean anymore.
I was just watching an MSNBC news report on possible voting machine malfunctions when her audio cut out. The anchor seized the reins of the program and reported that they were "obviously having some technical difficulties."
Technical difficulties broadcasting a story about technical difficulties. How delicious.
That phrase, "technical difficulties," seems unnecessarily bulky to the point of being euphemistic, bordering on sarcastic. It is as if there is a wry joke embedded in the term, dating back to its origin, like a fly encased in amber. "Technical difficulties" is the conversational ancestor of "wardrobe malfunction."
It has gone beyond cliche, the mere use of a hackneyed phrase in an attempt to sound colorful. It is more like an involuntary verbal reflex, instinctively unfolding from our tongues whenever some damn electronic doohickey sputters out. It's like saying "ow" when stubbing one's toe.
I suppose the term is still semantically valid, though the particular word "technical" now encompasses a broader swath of meaning than ever before. American society and much of our daily lives are now "technical" in one way or another. Between here and the train station I could conceivably encounter at least two dozen different difficulties involving popular mechanics.
And that word "difficulties" has its own subjective connotations. What is difficult for me -- or difficult for me to bear -- may be easier for some folks. For example, if Tony Kornheiser's audio were to cut out during Monday Night Football, he would probably refer to that as a "technical difficulty," but I think I would receive that scenario quite happily.
"Technical difficulties," therefore, is a phrase that is so universally meaningful that it has become meaningless. Moreover, it is so commonplace that nobody even really notices it anymore.
This is not a battle worth fighting, of course. We're never going to divest "technical difficulties" of its resonance in our collective consciousness. But I ask my readers: the next time your computer crashes, or your satellite dish is on the fritz, or your cell phone detonates in a puff of smoke -- and you find yourself reaching for a euphemism -- at least make it creative and interesting.
Don't say that you're having "technical difficulties." Say that you're experiencing an "inefficiency event," or having a "localized power outage," or "engaged in an involuntary personal communications embargo."
- Quentin Crisp
There are some phrases that have become such an entrenched part of our lexicon that we don't even think about what they mean anymore.
I was just watching an MSNBC news report on possible voting machine malfunctions when her audio cut out. The anchor seized the reins of the program and reported that they were "obviously having some technical difficulties."
Technical difficulties broadcasting a story about technical difficulties. How delicious.
That phrase, "technical difficulties," seems unnecessarily bulky to the point of being euphemistic, bordering on sarcastic. It is as if there is a wry joke embedded in the term, dating back to its origin, like a fly encased in amber. "Technical difficulties" is the conversational ancestor of "wardrobe malfunction."
It has gone beyond cliche, the mere use of a hackneyed phrase in an attempt to sound colorful. It is more like an involuntary verbal reflex, instinctively unfolding from our tongues whenever some damn electronic doohickey sputters out. It's like saying "ow" when stubbing one's toe.
I suppose the term is still semantically valid, though the particular word "technical" now encompasses a broader swath of meaning than ever before. American society and much of our daily lives are now "technical" in one way or another. Between here and the train station I could conceivably encounter at least two dozen different difficulties involving popular mechanics.
And that word "difficulties" has its own subjective connotations. What is difficult for me -- or difficult for me to bear -- may be easier for some folks. For example, if Tony Kornheiser's audio were to cut out during Monday Night Football, he would probably refer to that as a "technical difficulty," but I think I would receive that scenario quite happily.
"Technical difficulties," therefore, is a phrase that is so universally meaningful that it has become meaningless. Moreover, it is so commonplace that nobody even really notices it anymore.
This is not a battle worth fighting, of course. We're never going to divest "technical difficulties" of its resonance in our collective consciousness. But I ask my readers: the next time your computer crashes, or your satellite dish is on the fritz, or your cell phone detonates in a puff of smoke -- and you find yourself reaching for a euphemism -- at least make it creative and interesting.
Don't say that you're having "technical difficulties." Say that you're experiencing an "inefficiency event," or having a "localized power outage," or "engaged in an involuntary personal communications embargo."
