penfield | Dirty Laundry

"Guilt is the price we pay willingly for doing what we are going to do anyway"
- Isabelle Holland

Tonight was laundry night. We don't have washers-and-dryers in our apartment unit, but there is a central laundry room in the basement. The whole process of separating, cleaning, drying and folding is a pain but it's the schlepping down and back that is the real bother. It's especially problematic when the laundry room is busy, like it was tonight.

When I was in college, and the laundry room was busy, and I was afraid someone would claim a washer or dryer before I could use it, I would sometimes tape a handwritten "out of order" note on the machine. From my point of view, it was genius. Sure, someone could, should and probably would doubt the veracity of this handwritten note, but would they ultimately disregard it if there was a chance that the machine could totally ruin their clothes? Surely not.

I was effectively taking advantage of the kindness of others -- the kindness of the thoughtful sort of person who would leave a note of warning for future launderers. So I feel bad about what I did. I genuinely do. But I also still feel pretty proud of myself for coming up with the scheme.

Is it really possible to feel bad about something and proud about it at the same time?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I think so. I can be proud of being clever, but ashamed of being bitchy at the same time.

A: With blea-otch.

Thanks for the validation.

Is being "bitchy" really anything to be ashamed of? Isn't it really just a euphemism for "tough"?

Maybe "bitchy" is bigger than that. And I know it carries negative connotations that "tough" doesn't.

Incidentally, don't you think it's interesting that being called a "bitch" means something totally different to a woman than it does to a man? Like, practically opposite?

When it came time for you to use the "broken" drier, how did you pull that off with people watching?

Oh, that was easy -- and kind of cool. You just act all bold and say aloud, "Fuck it, I'm taking my chances."

That was really rather clever! A little devious, perhaps, but I doubt it caused anyone any real harm.

The meaning of "bitch" is also dependent of the user of the word. I think a man can rarely get away with using the word for a woman without it being derogatory (intended or not). Depending on the woman, that is still true. I generally abstain from use of that word as a compliment since I rarely see it as one myself. If a woman is "tough" I prefer the more colorful (although anatomically incorrect) "ballsy" or describing the tough woman as "having balls" since it better conveys the impression of "toughness" while decreasing the chances of it being misconstrued. I admire a women with balls.

But isn't it insulting to women to imply that the only way to be tough is to have balls -- that is, to be like a man? Can't a woman brag about her ovaries?

My friend Ru does in fact say "nice ovaries." I prefer "gutsy" or "she has guts," although I freely admit I have no idea why that's a good thing.

If having guts is good, then spilling one's guts should be bad. And it's impossible to pick up someone's spilled guts and use it for yourself. That would take chutzpah.

"Nice ovaries?" No matter how tough I think a guy is, I don't think I've ever said "nice balls."

Well, if you really want to get technical, ovaries ARE balls (they are homologous)--they just don't require such sensitive temperature control and thus are not descended as men's are (which denies us the luxury of scratching them when bored). One could argue that it really is not that much of a misnomer to refer to a woman as having balls.

Dirty Laundry

no subject

Q: How does Snoop Dogg wash his whites?

Proud of yourself, sympathy for others

Re: Proud of yourself, sympathy for others

The bitch (with balls?) is back. . .

RuPaul

Re: RuPaul

Re: RuPaul

Re: RuPaul

Re: RuPaul